Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria and Being an Artist

So writers block, ain’t that a bitch? And don’t I REALLY wish that’s all that was affecting me.

I spent 10 weeks in intensive outpatient therapy this year, thanks to my reason for staying in the corporate hellscape that is my job (we love insurance and a livable wage yo). While it was great for me in terms of getting my head back on right, it’s been DIFFICULT to get back into a routine of writing along with the insurance providing hellscape.

But, I’ve started to settle back into something like a routine, especially since the classes I’m in for grad school are a little less intensive at the moment. In fact, I’m only in one at the moment thanks to having to take certain things consecutively. Which is great because it means I’ll be able to devote the extra hours that I’d be spending on class work to starting submissions to literary magazines and potentially agents!

Which also means that one of the more difficult parts of being a person with ADHD is rearing its ugly head: Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria, or RSD. I’m not a doctor, and Web MD feels like medical Wikipedia so your milage may vary. To put it most simply: ADHD often causes really big feelings, and when it comes to trying to do things to be told no can sometimes feel absolutely crippling and devastating. Even if it’s inherent in what you’re doing. Like asking a person on a date, or applying for a new job.

Or submitting your work to an agent or editor when you’re seeking representation or publication.

See the problem here? The Irony is DRAMATIC ya’ll.

But, having gotten my first few rejections on a story already, I’m handling it WAY better than I would have before the extended stay in mental health daycare. And in the fact that I am still regularly seeing a therapist and can work through ways to keep balance of the negatives and difficult parts of the gig that no amount of graduate school and writer groups can REALLY make you more comfortable with.

I’m not a mental health expert or a therapist, so like take anything I say with a grain of salt. BUT a little list of things that I’ve been working on to combat the ICK.

1. Drink water and take your meds
   • Unless you’re also impacted by the ups and downs of the supply of certain ADHD meds. Because you can only do so much.
2. Get in the sun if you can. We’re basically two legged plants.
3. Be nice to yourself.
   • NICE DOES NOT MEAN OVERLY POSITIVE. If you can’t get to positive, neutrality is just as powerful.
     • I submitted a piece which was hard, and I can be proud of doing that. That sorta thing.
4. Talk to people that make you feel good and validated.
   • Even if they aren’t also writers or creatives. Even if you would NEVER let them read what you’ve written. Even the anti-social writer is at their core a human and we’re built for community and being around others.
5. Take breaks.
   • Look, simultaneous submissions are GREAT. But, spacing out and only submitting a story to like one or two places, or waiting until a few weeks into the wait of a query to an agent to send another one may be better.
     • Like, being told no 5 times in three days would be hard for anyone. Plus, if you get personalized feedback, you can take it into consideration and make changes before sending things out again.
6. THE BIGGEST ONE FOR ME: It isn’t personal, even if that piece was.
   • Editors and agents are not out to make you feel bad, or be cruel and unkind to you in general. Hell, they likely don’t even KNOW you beyond your bio that you gave them.
     • It is WAY easier said than done, but you can’t take a rejection of a piece as a rejection of you as a person or a writer. Or painter. Or actor. Or whatever you are.